Memoirs of a Broken Soul
by FunnyCatGirl
Summary: The Final battle was six months ago and Draco is keeping a journal entry of his thoughts. Its dark, and there is some anger. No spoilers.
1. Memoirs of a Broken Soul

A/N: this is a one-shot journal entry idea I got a while ago. I could easily continue it, but I won't unless people tell me I should.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP, Blade of the Immortal, Resident Evil, or anything else thus may remind you of.

**Memoirs of a Broken Soul**

* * *

January 29th

My Name is Draconis Nicholai Malfoy, and I remember everything.

I have spent the last six months in St. Mungos, and nobody can figure out what is wrong with me, but I know. It has been these six long months since the Dark Lord was defeated and his supporters killed. I was fortunate enough to survive. No, I was "fortunate" enough that Dumbledore chose to spare me. I spit his name. He calls it mercy and faith, I call it a fool's way to punish me.

It is my fault they're all dead anyway. I don't really know why I should care, except for the fact that it was my fault, and instead of dying with them like I had counted on, Dumbledore thwarts my plans. As soon as I get out of this hell-hole they call a hospital, I'm going to get drunk. Very drunk.

I would kill myself, but Dumbledore has made sure that I won't be able to do that. He says I must bear my burdens and warn others of my fate. Whatever burdens he means, I'm not sure. I don't hold any regrets other than not being able to kill myself, and I don't hold any anger towards any but Dumbledore, who has placed this curse upon me. He says I have been given two great gifts, but I just think of them both as curses. Life sucks anyway.

* * *

January 31st

The staff here thinks that jotting my thoughts down in a journal will help me remember the Final Battle. As if. I remember it, I just don't want to talk to anyone, so I pretend I don't know. I had been knocked unconscious towards the end, but I was awake long enough to learn what would result. If only… No, dwelling in the past will do nothing but bring back pain, and the future is too uncertain, so thinking about that will bring nothing but broken dreams and lost hopes. That's why I'm living in the present now.

* * *

February 2nd

I think I'm going to act like I'm better. Then maybe they'll let me go. They're starting to agree more and more that I'm simply depressed, but its so much more than that. They're afraid I'm going to kill myself if they let me go. If only I could. If they don't let me go by the end of the week, I'm going to try to escape. I've already got it planned out, I'd just need a wand. If only they'd let me have a wand unsupervised.

* * *

February 4th

They make me write in this thing every other day, and it gets really annoying. A least I don't let them read it. They watch me write in it to make sure I do use it, but I'm able to hide it after I'm done so they never find it. I guess I've kind of gotten use to the practice of putting my thoughts in writing. It was an alien feeling at first, but now I'm constantly filtering through the day to pick out what I'm going to write for an entry the next. I am so bored, I think I'm going to do something to make my life more exciting.

* * *

February 7th

Hmmph. I decided to have a little fun two days ago, and they've only just now stopped putting me under 24-hour surveillance and solitary confinement. I'm still being watched carefully, but at least I get my own room now.

The nurse had come in to examine a patient a few beds down from me and I grabbed a surgical knife off of her tray. Before she could even think, I had jammed it into my arm and cut almost all the way across with it. It hurt like Hell, but it felt good. Besides, I had to make sure.

Well, she saw me with the knife in my arm and ran to get help. I was laughing at the confusion I had caused. To my dismay, though, the wound had completely healed over before she had come back. There wasn't even any blood to show I had stabbed myself.

It was pretty funny watching the nurse come back all flustered, dragging along an elderly-looking matron. All I had to do was hide the knife out of sight beneath my sheets without them seeing and pretend like nothing had happened. Triple bonus. I have a room of my own and a sharp knife in my possession, and I got to stir up a little mayhem. I heard that the poor nurse had left or been fired or something.

* * *

February 9th

It is two o'clock in the morning and I've been slitting my fingers and wrists all night. I don't sleep anymore. If I do, I'll probably get lost in the past and lose what threads of strength and control I've managed to obtain. I haven't been able to draw a single drop of blood. Not even the nurses can get an easy blood sample anymore. I don't even have any physical scars. I feel it when it cuts through my flesh, though, and I have grown addicted to it. Even the nurses have seen a slight change in my attitude. With this feeling to get me through each night, I've been acting less depressed each day. Maybe they'll let me out soon. Oh, how I can't wait. Once I'm out of here, I'm never coming back. The first thing I'm going to do is probably go get drunk, then maybe laid. I could use to release a bit of my stress. Then, I'm going to kill Dumbledore.

* * *

A/N: that felt like a good place to stop. If you guys like it, I can continue it, but I'll only do so if you guys think I should. Please review and tell me what you thought! 


	2. Escape and Revenge, Maybe

Disclaimer: Must I? Really? What if I just don't fucking care?

A/N: Well, I got a great response to the first part, so I guess I have nothing left to do but put a second part up.

This chapter is dedicated to, surprisingly enough, my sister. Why, you may ask? Well, I know she is a complete and total bitch, and fucking annoying as hell. Well, that's why. She's got me so upset right now, I'm going to use this angsty-depressing story as an outlet to my anger rather than wringing her neck and getting charged with murder. She's not allowed to read this, so if you don't mind, I'd like to rant about my lying, cheating whore of a bitch of a sister. Thank you. I hadn't planned on writing the next segment to this fic this weekend, but I write when the mood suits me, and right now I feel like killing someone (hint hint, point). Thank you.

A/N: (put up a couple days later) Okay, I was really worked up when I wrote the above… I'm not usually like that. Please don't judge me by that rant. I'm still upset about…stuff… so, I'm still capable of finishing it, but honestly, people, please don't make me do another segment. I'll start another, longer, story if you want me to, but right now, I'm trying to focus on SoaW, so I absolutely refuse to add more to this. I'll do a Vampire fic in a few weeks using things from this idea, and kinda playing off of it, from another perspective. I already have an idea for it, so bear with me, my loyal followers! Right now, I'm stressed with end-of-the-year stuff, so please hang on a little while longer. There. Okay? Also, this chapter will not be that long, but I am planning on updating the next chapter to SoaW.

Segment 2

(notice, its not even called a chapter. I'm not planning on doing anymore follow-ups, so please don't beg.)

As I was saying…

Segment 2: Escape and Revenge, Maybe…

February 15th

I'm not exactly sure how it happened, even to this day, but somehow I escaped. All I remember is walking down the hallway and out the door, with nobody following. I guess I don't really care, though. All that matters is that I'm out. I went straight to a bar, like I said I would, but I didn't get drunk until my 22nd beer, damnit. Even then I couldn't forget the horrible things I had been put through. Not even pleasure could shake off the horror and fury I felt at those who had mistreated me, had used me, who must now die.

March 4th

Heh heh… you won't be hearing from me for a while, maybe not ever again. I think I've found a friend, surprisingly enough, or at least enough of a friend I've ever had. Still not sure why I continue to write in this stupid journal, but I do. I'm going to make that bastard Dumbledore pay for using me. Heh heh… If only I was strong enough. As it is, I don't have a wand, and I'm wandering around the alleyways of the Muggle world. This must be how Black felt all those years ago, before he was found and killed. Maybe I should kill another wizard and take his wand. I'm already a wanted convict, I couldn't really care. If Black could escape Azcaban, so can I.

March 11th

I have a wand.

March 24th

My friend, Gabrielle, has invited me to his place to hide. After a rash of murders that are being blamed on me, unjustly I might add, I need to lay low. He assures me that I won't be found here. He isn't a Wizard, but there is something strange about him. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm safely hidden for now. He's also hinted at possibly helping me get my revenge. I hope so. Even with a wand, I'm still not strong enough to defeat Dumbledore, especially if he's done to himself what he did to me… I would have to find a way to combat it.

April 5th

Damn! Damn Damn Damn! He does have it! There was a revolt today in the ministry, completely unforeseen by all, and Dumbledore was attacked. He was thrown to the floor, robes torn and bloodied. Minutes later, though, he stood back up and started fighting. His robes were bloody, but after the battle was won, his torso was bared and everyone saw that it didn't have a scratch upon it. now the entire Wizarding community is whispering about how Dumbledore is a fraud, staging battles so he can stay in power. All this I've heard through Gabrielle, who heard from other reliable sources. He has friends everywhere, I think. In all, this will help me. Maybe I'll be able to help turn the populace against him…

April 13th

It has begun. Wizards everywhere are protesting for Dumbledore to be removed from power. All of his plans are falling about his ears. Heh heh heh… If I didn't want the satisfaction of killing him myself, I'd let the general public rip him limb from limb. Word has gotten out about how he has been using humans as test subjects for his cruel experiments. Nobody knows where the rumors are coming from though… I wish that I knew.

April 27th

My plan is almost in place. Soon now, I shall have my revenge. No more shall I be down-trod and ignored. I shall let my story be known, win the faith of the populace, and then slave them all to my bidding. On the 13th, they shall pay. They shall rue the day they messed with me…

A/N: That's all folks! But don't you fret, I'll start that new fic soon, and I promise, it will be the same story, just from another viewpoint, and much more complete. This story is a teaser for the next one, which I don't have a title for yet. I'll get it up soon, I promise.


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